Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you

Day 13

There’s a million and one people I wish could forgive me because I had been such an immature bitch and so I fuck up all relationships. I’m sorry I’m sorry, I’ve been trying my best to be my very best most of the time but sometimes, things just spirals out of my control. I still love you all the same like before and I wish things will be better. Someday. I miss you.

Please love me again I promise I will try my best to be an angel. (But I will understand if you can’t because nobody likes a complete bitch.)

Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain

If I have to name one person I hate, I won’t be able to come up with any name.

I don’t know how to hate anybody. Even if that person was ultra mean to me, I wouldn’t hate him/her. I’m the kind of person who tries to be nice to someone who’s mean to me/hurt/used me and rather than hating the person for what he/she did, I’d be wishing for things to be different and that we could be friends.

As for the caused me a lot of pain part, I guess the the same person falls under day 12 too, so let’s just leave it to day 12.

Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to

What sparked me in writing this entry is the sudden death of a relative. I don’t know why, but maybe because we were never really considered close and rarely meet each other, I don’t really feel sad or any other emotions I’m supposed to. I feel like a bad person.

Anyway,

Dear Miss Jenny Tan,

You were the best teacher I ever had but now, you are in a far better place. You were my primary 3 form teacher, and you took care of me like a mother. I get sick so frequently, and every evening I felt sick, you escorted me to the school bus to make sure that I am fine. You passed away when I was 13 and I miss you so much.

Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to

Dear D,

I wished we talked more. I wished I could tell you every single thing in my life right now this minute. I wished you were there for every of my “growing up” moments. I wished you knew me better. I wished I knew you better. I wished we were like before, when we were both younger.

I don’t even know you anymore.

Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet

Day 9

Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.
— Bill Gates

I WANT TO MEET BILL GATES and please teach me how to be rich.

I still remember that time my sis was saying how she wants to create a new line of laptops named Grape and it will be better than Apple products. So I said, I’m going to create a software more powerful than microsoft and adobe so her Grape will contain my software and we will take on the world together.

Then I will meet Bill Gates and say, “Never thought this day will come right?”

Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend

Day 8

Ahhhhhhhhh this, my favourite internet friend has to be Justin twinny without a doubt! We first met on facebook (I forgot how), I think 2 years back or maybe longer I can’t remember but it was that period of time when facebook was still ugly and not popular LOL. And on some facebook quiz app which I forgot the name of, we realised we were so similar that it’s scary. So that was how the word twinny came about.

Okay abrupt end now because I seriously have no idea what to write about someone I have never met and don’t know much of.

Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush

Day 7

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.

Day 6 — A stranger

Day six

Dear Stranger,

That Saturday when I sat in the toilet @ Tampines MRT and cried while complaining to feifei on the phone, thank you for not banging on my door to ask me to hurry the f up so that you can clean the toilet. You had already pulled down the binds and got your cleaning supplies out and you could have banged on the door to ask me to get out but you didn’t, instead you waited patiently for me to come out. And when I finally did come out sniffing, you did not give me weird stares like what other people probably will but smiled at me.

I don’t know if you are just a very pleasant, nice and wonderful person or you did this to make me feel better, but this small and so simple gesture meant the whole world to me, and it was very very nice and sweet in a way I don’t know how to put into words. It gave me a lot more hope than I had and made me believe there’s some humanity in this world after all. Thank you.

Day 5 — Your dreams

Day Five

To dream, starve doubt, feed hope.
- North of Beautiful

When I am older and after I’ve worked really hard and earned buckets of money, my dream is to open a book cafe. It may most likely be somewhere away from Singapore, in the suburbans, hidden and unnoticeable in a quaint little town. There will be beautiful trees and flowers, ponds, lakes and rivers, and the weather will always be perfect.

My book cafe will be a two-storey  wooden dwelling. The inner furnishing of the book cafe will be nowhere near fancy or modern. It will be simple with wooden floors and complete with wooden furniture. On the first floor, there will be wooden book shelves full with books stretching from one end to the other, magazines and newspapers racks and a coffee counter. It will be just like a mini library.

The stairs leading up to the second floor will be creaky. The whole place will be filled with earthy tones with a surprising splash of bright red cushions, sofa and love seats at one cosy corner where people can laze around. There will be swing seats. There will be outdoor seats at the balcony where people can immerse themselves in a book, enjoying the coffee while listening to the sounds of the rustling of leaves, the occasional chirping of birds and clinks of coffee mugs hitting the tables.

The sounds of coffee blending, smells of freshly made coffee and the tings of the sales register will fill the entire book cafe. It will be a perfect place for people to spend time alone, away from the hectic city life. It will be a place like it came out from a fairytale.

Apologising doesn’t mean that you were wrong, or the other person was right. It means you value your relationship more then your ego

Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)

Day four

Dear sisters,

We don’t really talk much because when you were home, you will be on your laptop and I will be on mine. We don’t interact much but it’s a surprise how well we can understand each other and how close we actually are.

I still remember how we used to do silly and stupid stuff like going out without permission, buying lots of stupid things like erasers and notebooks, and in order to hide this from mum, we cover up for each other. We will lie and say we are going to the library, but actually, we will be going to town to play.

It’s amazing how I can still remember simple and silly things like these, but I cannot think of what to write about you because there’s simply too much to say. So I will just say 3 words, 8 letters, a whole lot of meaning, I love you.